Distorted View Daily and Cornswalled Is A Moron Proudly Presents...

Saturday, September 29, 2007

No point.

After writing my last blog post about Alexander Conrnswalled's latest podcast, I have decided to stop writing this blog. My reasons are many, but the main one is that I am wasting my time on someone who is as insignificant as a gnat. I am sure Alexander will assume he has "won" and silenced a critic... think what you will, "Cornswalled", but that is not the case as I have outlined below.

Let's be honest - it's not as though I am blogging about Jerry Fallwell here. I am writing about the ramblings of a tired old single bugger with a fake name who obviously can't accomplish much more than pissing off kids who are listening to things they likely shouldn't. Big whoop.

If you read Alexander's blogs, there are a very VERY few people that agree with him. The occasional nut job like Robert Troop may agree, but other than that, is there anyone other than Distorted View listeners reading this guy's blog? No. Oh sure, the occasional anonymous comment might pop up on his blog that agrees with his post, but it's easy enough to do that himself and pass it off as a random poster.

Basically, I feel the only thing we're accomplishing here is giving him fuel for his fire. More fuel for his cute little campaign to accomplish... what? Censorship? A direct infringement on the 1st Amendment? If anyone really believes Alexander can get podcasts off the internet, may I direct your attention to the full blown campaign to rename the GWB Bridge? Ha ha ha.

Other reasons for ending this blog are:
He is not an honourable man.
He ignores questions.
How can I debate with someone who picks and chooses which questions to answer?
He sidesteps issues.
He makes up lies and stories to prove his point.
He lives a sheltered life in which people always believe the same things he does. He cannot imagine a world where his beliefs don't reign supreme.
His world revolves around him, his family and his immediate community. He cannot imagine life beyond that.
He is likely a repressed homosexual, though I do not have obvious proof. Usually the ones who are the most outspoken tend to be the biggest ones, am I right?
As a young boy, he was likely burned by the world and decided to shut himself up in the cocoon in which he currently lives, going online every so often to lash out at the world who rejected him.

Honestly, people - what is someone as small and insignificant as Alexander Cornswalled going to accomplish in his life? Very little. So why should we waste our time giving him attention he really doesn't deserve? It's like watching a Jerry Springer show. It's all the same, the names are a little different, but really - there's no substance to it. And there's no substance to Alexander either.

Your opinion means nothing to me, Alexander. It only means something to people when you cram your view down their throat. But really, people need to step back and look where the opinion is coming from - it comes from someone with as much integrity as a politician.

I'm not mad about you, Alexander. It's taken me awhile to come to the conclusion that when you mocked me on your blog, it was coming from someone so brainwashed as to be pitied. And I truly do pity you, "Cornswalled".

I will keep this blog up for as long as I can. If someone should happen to want comments to your blog posts, they will have this. And the first thing they will read is that you are to be taken as seriously as a boil on their bottom. Irritating, but not life threatening.


Review of "Cornswalled's" Latest Podcast

I wasted nine minutes and fourteen seconds on Mr. "Cornswalled's" latest podcast. In it, Alexander gave his opinion on 2 podcasts: Keith and the Girl and the Paper Bag Show. I've listened to KandtheG a couple of times, and actually found it quite mundane and boring. I am not familiar with the other podcast he reviewed, and frankly, I don't really care what Alexander's opinion on it is. If Alexander doesn't like it, then he'll be sure to tell you it should be removed and destroyed as soon as is convenient.

A technical note about Alexander's recent podcast; "Cornswalled", your "pot'able recohdin' devass" is a piece of crap. It sounds like you're driving through a windtunnel. I also notice you have more of a "Sothen Drawwwl" than your last podcasts. Why is that? Is your "Suthen Gentleman" personality on deck today?

Thanks for making reference to my blog, by commenting on my "research" into your name. Poorly researched? Sure it was. I even said so. But it's no more poorly researched than your blogs. At least I say I assume you have a joke name - you read misinformation and call it fact, or call someone a pedophile without proof, or call me a Liberal Christian without knowing me.

All "Cornswalleds" have unlisted phone numbers?

Alexander, that's pretty weak, even for you. Do you honestly expect me to believe that your "clan" are the only "Cornswalled's" around? And you all live in the same community? And you all have unlisted phone numbers? I don't believe you. You're a liar. And spare me the BS about "you''re not going to find us on your cute databases... not everything is on the internet" If your family name has been around for generations as you claim, then surely someone SOMEWHERE would have written about a "Cornswalled" in a family tree, or a history paper, or something. Although, given how absolutely pointless and ridiculous you are, I would expect your forefathers were likely as useless and pointless as you. My wife wondered what your family was trying to hide by being so secretive...

You comment, "This [my podcast] is something that's been a bit of a bone of contention amongst some of my family members, as they have pointed out that my behaviour engages me with Liberals well beyond those who directly influence our lives."

How weak is your family's faith? Someone posted a great comment on your blog, Alexander, which expresses my opinion exactly. I will quote it here:

vir modestus wrote:
I find it fascinating, and have for a very long time, just how fragile this thing you call "faith" is. You have no faith in the strength of your god or the faith of your parishioners. Instead of finding any or all of these podcasts (seriously: you have a problem with PHC?) as a "teaching moment" your first reaction is to run scared. Your god is so weak "he" can't handle facing any opinion but the one you rigidly control and dish out. If you have a problem with any of these podcasts found on a "child's" computer, why isn't it an opportunity to explore faith? No. Just delete it. Run scared.

I can't comment anymore than to say, "Huzzah for Vir!"

A little more into your podcast, you state, "I used to use the title of Reverend even though... had not been ordained... started my own church..."

Yikes! You started a Baptist offshoot cult, didn't you? You started your own church and appointed YOURSELF Reverend. This actually explains so much. You use a pseudonym, start your own church, call yourself Reverend, and make up your own reality. You're actually no better than the Westboro Baptist Church!

You then comment on the church you currently attend:

"...seen [my church] grow and mature thanks to my actions..."

That's a pretty boastful statement, Alexander. What about God? Shouldn't God have the credit for seeing your church grow and mature? You failed to mention God's Hand... interesting. What does that say about your character, I wonder...?

"For by Grace are ye saved through faith, though not of yourselves. It is a gift from God. Not of works lest any man should boast."

You really have no clue, chum.

Let's recap, shall we?

1. "Yo' pahcast sounds lahk crayp"
2. You have a joke name. You cannot offer any other proof other than your say so. And given the lies you have told, the evasiveness to my questions, I have been given no reason to believe anything you say. You are a liar. And over something so silly, as usual.
3. Your family is a close knit group of clones and are typical Conservative Christians - don't explore another point of view. If it goes against ours, hide and maybe it will go away. Our God isn't strong enough for us, so we will ignore the world around us.
4. You admit to calling yourself a Reverend in the past, even though you were not ordained. You started your own church, You make claims about yourself and your own actions without mentioning God. Didn't Jim Jones get started that way?

You know what, and I am being totally serious right now. After listening to your podcast and reading your blog, I am genuinely concerned that you are an unbalanced individual. You sound more and more like someone in a cult who toes the party line. You really do sound brainwashed - totally devoid of life or laughter, monotone southern drawl... Again, I am being serious, you are actually starting to frighten me a little, almost as though if you knew where I lived, you'd knock at my door with a gun in hand.

But you know, for all that you are a whacko and a potential risk to yourself and others, I will show you the same compassion you have shown others; You're an idiot and a moron.


Sunday, September 16, 2007

Cornswalled Is Not Real

I don't believe that Alexander Cornswalled is a real person. I believe he is hiding under an unfortunate pseudonym and is actually someone else.

Why do I believe this?

A few reasons.

First and foremost - I cannot believe someone as clueless, as illogical, as.... STUPID (for lack of a proper word) as Alexander would use their real name. I mean, COME ON! Posting Photoshopped pictures as vandalism? An IM chat as real when it's A JOKE?! Citing Canadian Law in an effort to have DV removed in the United States? There's more, people. Waste an hour at our good friend's blog and you'll come away with a headache from smacking your forehead in disbelief at the UTTER NONSENSE that he posts. Good God - if Alexander is truly one of Your servants on earth, and he is what we'll be stuck with when we all get to heaven, then I really need to rethink my stance on Christianity.

That was a JOKE Alexander. You're likely chuckling anyway. Anticornswalled? Get in to heaven? Aha ha ha...

You bet, baby! You'll get there before I do you old gasbag, but save me a spot on the bleachers, anyway...

Anyhow, I started to think - WHO could this jackass really be?

At first I thought he was Robert Troop. For those who have read the comments to Alexander's blogs, Robert is the old windbag who owns the printing company (VERIZON IS ONE OF THEIR CUSTOMERS! AREN'T YOU ALL IMPRESSED?) It sorta made sense - Robert and Alexander can't spell worth a damn. They call people morons and idiots and punks. And they both have the understanding of an Alzheimer's patient who has been given a thousand piece puzzle for Christmas. They each jump to conclusions faster than Rosie O"Donnell jumps on a chocolate cake. But I am not sure if they are one in the same - Robert's company donated a million dollars to a charity run by Catholics, and we all know Cornswalled believes Catholics are idol worshipping Hell bound heathens. But, I still think Alexander is a joke name. So I check a little further...

I did a little search for our good friend online and couldn't find him. Actually, I couldn't find ANYONE in the United States phone directories with a last name of Cornswalled. Out of what, 250 million people, YOU happen to be the last Cornswalled? I suppose it is possible - If I were related to you, Alexander, I would change my last name too. The only time I could find an Alexander Cornswalled was on pages YOU had made, Alexander. I did find a site created by someone who said they knew you in Valparaiso (sp?) Indianna. This individual said you'd written a rather famous (read: MORONIC!) piece on Pokemon. He said you were a lovely man (the word "lovely" dripping in sarcasm...)

I just find it odd that I can't find a Cornswalled in the US. Any Cornswalled. Why is that?

So there you have it. Not very well researched, but based on what I tried to find, Alexander Cornswalled doesn't exist. And let's be honest, if you were him, would you really want to?


UPDATE - September 17, 2007

Oh no. The little troll has a podcast now. I listened to a little but had to shut it off after awhile. I can only stand someone who sounds like a cross between Gomer Pyle and Fozzy Bear for so long. I like how he changed his website, with a subheading that reads:

Alexander Cornswalled is a Midwestern Conservative Christian, writing and podcasting about religion, morals and the fight to halt the decay of American society and civilization.

Sounds like he's been podcasting for awhile doesn't it? He started podcasting today. For a more accurate subheading, it should read:

Alexander Cornswalled is a Midwestern Conservative Christian Whack Job, writing and podcasting (as of today!) about religion (Baptist views), morals (as I see them) and the fight to halt the decay of American society and civilization (Distorted View) based on my own personal tastes. If you don't like it, I will still cram my opinion down your throat and call you a moron if you disagree. I do not believe you should live your own life. Your life belongs to me, and I will decide what you can or cannot listen to. I will also ignore all attempts at getting me to answer your questions when I know I will look more retarded than I already am. I will make up lots of excuses, like I am busy, or I have work, or church. I will still find the time to produce a podcast, write my nonsense blog and write stupid replies on Yahoo Answers that could endanger the health of teen girls who really should go to their OBGYN. I don't have any kids (actually, I am single) but I know what's right for those little harlots anyway. Even though I know Tim Henson will play clips of my poscast on his show and mock me, it will only add fuel to my war against DV, even though I asked for it. I truly believe my podcast will be more popular than Tim's, because God is on my side and not Tim's (nyah nyah nyah-nyah nyaaaahhhhh!)

A little wordy...

... but quite accurate.

A.C. (that stands for AntiCornswalled, not AntiChrist, Alexander. Wouldn't want you to jump to one of your famous conclusions, moron.)

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Baptist? Cornswalled?

Wow. That one came out of left field. Who'd've thought Alexander was a BAPTIST? From the midwest too? Wow.

I can't believe someone thought you were Catholic; your whole attitude screams of a righteous, God Fearing, man of God, gosh-darn-almighty BAPTIST!

(THE most closed minded of all the protestant Christian sects)

Oh, did I paint you with a generalized statement, Alexander? I wonder where in the WORLD I picked that up?


Not Living in Reality...

Today's post from Alexander has to do with what he thought was vandalism of a billboard for The Creation Museum.

Read his blog here

Alexander had posted an image of the billboard for The Creation Museum, saying it had been vandalised.

The image is a Photoshopped picture. Anyone with a clue could have pointed that out to him. But of course, his church was up in arms, trying to decipher what it meant... blah blah blah.

Alexander then updated his blog post later in the day, to explain that the photo was actually a fake, but the museum has experienced vandalism in the past because of what it stands for.

I am not going to get into the whole evolution / creation debate. In fact, I don't really care to comment much on Alexander's post, EXCEPT to say that this is a prime example of why people (except loudmouths like "Robert Troop") will never take you seriously, Cornswalled.

You rush to conclusions, judgements, make ass-umptions, etc. without even checking to see if your "facts" are correct. Had you merely asked the curator of the museum about the authenticity of the photo BEFORE you wrote your blog, you could have instead written a piece about real vandalism at the museum. You could have written a great blog about religious tolerance; how people should have respect for the museum so it doesn't get vandalised.

Oh, wait.

It's hard to gain respect when you show very little of it yourself. I find it funny that you seemed a little outraged over vandalism and grafitti, but think nothing of publishing posts that call people pedophiles, liberal Christians, Catholics = cultists, etc.

I've said this time and again - you refuse to do any homework and fact checking before you turn your computer on. And your hypocrisy is starting to reach new heights.

Keep it coming, Alexander.

Alexander's credibility = 0 (still)